The “F” Word

I am writing this blog post because I am seriously thinking of other things that would result in nothing. I am frustrated, frustrated to a point where I want to scream until my vocal chords bleed.

I feel as though I am frustrated at everything and at everyone. There are days where my frustration is sky high, and I can’t help it because I am human too. The level of frustration today can be seen in this GIF:

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Breathe in, breathe out.

I am a 24-year-old, still living with her parents with no excitement in her life whatsoever. You can imagine that at this point in my life I wish I could have already moved out, but financially, I can’t buy a place or not even rent one because prices are sky high! I’ve lived on my own before, and that’s what makes it 10x worse.

I am highly stressed and on the verge of giving up at the moment because I should be writing a dissertation but today all I want to do is chill in bed, sleep and just have a mental break. My eyes feel dry, look red and weak, and all I can hear is my mum, complaining downstairs that I’m wasting time. Now instead of staying in bed, I’m killing my eyes with this laptop light, and my eyes are going dry again. I do understand why my mum is going on and on about my thesis, but seriously I need a flipping break. I’m tired. I’m sleeping at 3am and waking up at 9am every day.

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The worst part is that everyone in the household then gets mad, but I apparently can’t. I’m unquestionably frustrated, my mum starts to comment on stupid things and then my dad gets frustrated. I mean come on!!!

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My psychologist told me that I’m frustrated and that I should find an outlet. WELL, HERE IT IS.

Not to mention, I’m on a diet, so all I hear is salad, protein and grilled vegetables. No pizza, or burgers or chocolate or ice-cream. All the things that make me happy have been stripped away. Not to mention the frustration I have with my body at the moment. I’m eating all this healthy food, going to the gym and trying my best yet I still see myself as a large round Oompa Loompa. All I can see on social media is burgers with cheesy buns, every type of pasta, large pizza slices and oh, the cakes!

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I am trying not to break my keyboard while I write this blog post because you know, I’m frustrated, as I’ve clearly mentioned a couple of hundred times. I just want to get through today without breaking something.

What do you do when your frustration levels are through the roof?

Stay happy, stay you.

Your virtual friend,

Audrey

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